finding a healthy way to express the things that violate your value system is important.
consider whether the situation, person, etc is worth your time. is anything going to change by your expression or will you only serve to further upset yourself because you are not being heard. resolution in some aspect is important. realize that the resolution may be that you have to remove yourself from the situation or relationship that violates your values. there is nothing wrong with walking away. it doesnt mean that you are giving up, it just means that you realize youve come to an impasse.... something that either will never be resolved or wont be resolved any time soon.... and you choose to remove yourself because you value yourself and the things and people that are accessible and congruent with your values and you choose to focus on those things/people. resist the temptation to re-engage in defeating behaviors and relationships. take the time to find out how youve contributed to the unhealthy relationship/habit and work on yourself. learning from your mistakes, unhealthy habits, and triggering stimuli will help you notice and avoid those things in the future. ive learned that no amount of effort spent trying to communicate how important someone is to you doesnt make you important to them. they may "say" they love you, care about you etc but if their actions and words arent congruent then my best guess is they dont love you... what they may mean is that they love the things you do for them, the attention you give them or they love how keeping you at a distance satisfies their need to control. at any rate, the sooner you see these relationships for what they really are the better off you will be. dont fall into the guilt trap... continue to remind yourself that removing toxic people and things from your life is healthy and important for you to grow.
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