The beginning of the end....
Maybe...
Maybe there are things we can't account for. At any rate, times are as they are and we must learn to live with the present and the future.
Just to address the obvious state of affairs....
Post election disdain, anger, and folks behaving badly.
Now, I didn't vote for Obama. I don't care for his brand of politics, but..... Anger and nastiness aren't going to make things any different.
As for Romney, the Republican party and the religious right single-handedly alienated many people with their ultra conservative views.
Most Americans don't want polarized politics and a country divided by opposition. We want prosperity, freedom, and the right to live like Americans.
We don't want to be Greece, England, France or Canada; we want to be The United States of America, with all the hope she can promise.
Interestingly, it doesn't matter what your personal views are because "the machine" has its own agenda and whether you believe it or not it cares nothing for you.
Wake up, people.
Drop your anger and....
Take a chance at walking the high road.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Angry: Part II
So....Where were we? Oh right, I'm angry...... Yeah, so this needs to stop.
There was a quote that I read sometime ago that basically stated that anger is sparked by a violation of ones values. Ok, I can subscribe to that, but how to deal with that is the problem.
There are all kinds of ways to be frustrated, offended and ....angry.....every day. How do I just....leave it. No matter what. Disengage.
I guess one way is to not let things bother me that I really have no control over. Brush it aside and try to forget about it.
I've tried it.
Things still eat at me even if I manage not to show that I am hurt, annoyed, frustrated and angry.
I'm not saying that I go home and kick the dog or anything, but my mind turns it over and over and I can't let it go.
That just makes it worse. Like a depressive who drinks to self medicate. I think I'm addicted to that thing....the memory of the issue... I can't resolve. It becomes an obsession until I either drive myself crazy enough to let it go or say or do something stupid that inevitably makes things worse.
So, the question is....how much is peace worth to me? Is it worth more than the obsession with things I can't change or resolve?
If it's important to me enough to change....
Where do I start? That's the real question that begs an answer.....
Maybe that is what I need to start doing..... Creating my new plan for peace....
There was a quote that I read sometime ago that basically stated that anger is sparked by a violation of ones values. Ok, I can subscribe to that, but how to deal with that is the problem.
There are all kinds of ways to be frustrated, offended and ....angry.....every day. How do I just....leave it. No matter what. Disengage.
I guess one way is to not let things bother me that I really have no control over. Brush it aside and try to forget about it.
I've tried it.
Things still eat at me even if I manage not to show that I am hurt, annoyed, frustrated and angry.
I'm not saying that I go home and kick the dog or anything, but my mind turns it over and over and I can't let it go.
That just makes it worse. Like a depressive who drinks to self medicate. I think I'm addicted to that thing....the memory of the issue... I can't resolve. It becomes an obsession until I either drive myself crazy enough to let it go or say or do something stupid that inevitably makes things worse.
So, the question is....how much is peace worth to me? Is it worth more than the obsession with things I can't change or resolve?
If it's important to me enough to change....
Where do I start? That's the real question that begs an answer.....
Maybe that is what I need to start doing..... Creating my new plan for peace....
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Angry Much???
Anger. It's a powerful emotion! Just thinking about the word conjures all kinds of memories. Mostly memories of me wanting to rip someone's head off.
I know, I know that isn't very nice. Right?
I hate feeling angry. I hate confrontation, but I'm not afraid of it either.
Anger, frustration, feelings of powerlessness can be overwhelming catalysts; sometimes sparking a detructive swath a mile wide.
However, it is the same emotional set that can spur a life changing transformation.
It has the power to create, as well as to destroy.
Incredible, isn't it?
Let me tell you a little story about an epiphany of mine.
I came home from class last night and I was talking to my husband about religion; and as I was standing there going on and on about it I realized that: I am an angry person.
I said that to my husband. Out loud. "I am an angry person," I said.
He genuinely looked sad for me, and began to nod slightly, indicating his agreement. "I know, honey, but you have reasons to be. You had kind of a rough go of things." He looked a little sheepish like admitting that might bring him a world of grief later, but I brushed the look aside and pressed on.
"I really am angry; about so many things, and I don't know how to fix it."
It seemed inconsequential, this little exchange, but in reality it was incredibly important. I'd felt the feelings of anger on so many occasions, but I never thought to identify myself as an "angry person".
Oops! Gotta go!
To be continued......
I know, I know that isn't very nice. Right?
I hate feeling angry. I hate confrontation, but I'm not afraid of it either.
Anger, frustration, feelings of powerlessness can be overwhelming catalysts; sometimes sparking a detructive swath a mile wide.
However, it is the same emotional set that can spur a life changing transformation.
It has the power to create, as well as to destroy.
Incredible, isn't it?
Let me tell you a little story about an epiphany of mine.
I came home from class last night and I was talking to my husband about religion; and as I was standing there going on and on about it I realized that: I am an angry person.
I said that to my husband. Out loud. "I am an angry person," I said.
He genuinely looked sad for me, and began to nod slightly, indicating his agreement. "I know, honey, but you have reasons to be. You had kind of a rough go of things." He looked a little sheepish like admitting that might bring him a world of grief later, but I brushed the look aside and pressed on.
"I really am angry; about so many things, and I don't know how to fix it."
It seemed inconsequential, this little exchange, but in reality it was incredibly important. I'd felt the feelings of anger on so many occasions, but I never thought to identify myself as an "angry person".
Oops! Gotta go!
To be continued......
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Chance of a Lifetime....?
Here's the deal. I'm apprehensive about blogging. Even though I haven't been shy in the past about posting my opinions on *crackbook,* I realize that maybe it isn't the wisest thing to just "put yourself out there". Or is it?
No matter what your message, it is bound to be misinterpreted, misconstrued and people are going to "think things". The misconception is that if you never post anything, say anything, do anything; or only say, post, do the things that can be percieved as virtuous, and paint you in the most positive light that it will prevent *said people* from "thinking" anything negative. Seems logical, right?
That's crap! People think what they want. It doesn't matter what you say, do, post, etc., there is always going to be someone who is going to read into it something negative. Why be afraid?
Fuck fear!
I'm going blog.
Maybe it will be personal. Maybe not. Maybe it will be interesting. Maybe not. Maybe my words will help someone. Maybe not. But in any case, the fear stops here! The excuses stop here!
My journey starts now.
I'm not exactly sure how all of this will work. I don't have it clearly planned out. Maybe it's just an exercise to make me think beyond my emotions; face my self imposed obstacles to success and create a kind of "accountability" for the negativity I produce to keep myself from achieving the things I "say" are important. Maybe I will find that those things aren't important at all. Maybe I will find that they are vitally important. Maybe this can be the way to hone those ideas that I thought to a fine point so that I am crystal clear on my intention, direction and purpose. Who knows.
So.....
Onward with the *experiment*. Let's see what demons I can confront. What ideas, habits, thought patterns and the like are in need of an overhaul. I'm ready! Let's do this!
No matter what your message, it is bound to be misinterpreted, misconstrued and people are going to "think things". The misconception is that if you never post anything, say anything, do anything; or only say, post, do the things that can be percieved as virtuous, and paint you in the most positive light that it will prevent *said people* from "thinking" anything negative. Seems logical, right?
That's crap! People think what they want. It doesn't matter what you say, do, post, etc., there is always going to be someone who is going to read into it something negative. Why be afraid?
Fuck fear!
I'm going blog.
Maybe it will be personal. Maybe not. Maybe it will be interesting. Maybe not. Maybe my words will help someone. Maybe not. But in any case, the fear stops here! The excuses stop here!
My journey starts now.
I'm not exactly sure how all of this will work. I don't have it clearly planned out. Maybe it's just an exercise to make me think beyond my emotions; face my self imposed obstacles to success and create a kind of "accountability" for the negativity I produce to keep myself from achieving the things I "say" are important. Maybe I will find that those things aren't important at all. Maybe I will find that they are vitally important. Maybe this can be the way to hone those ideas that I thought to a fine point so that I am crystal clear on my intention, direction and purpose. Who knows.
So.....
Onward with the *experiment*. Let's see what demons I can confront. What ideas, habits, thought patterns and the like are in need of an overhaul. I'm ready! Let's do this!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
thought for the day
what makes you angry, violates your values...
finding a healthy way to express the things that violate your value system is important.
consider whether the situation, person, etc is worth your time. is anything going to change by your expression or will you only serve to further upset yourself because you are not being heard. resolution in some aspect is important. realize that the resolution may be that you have to remove yourself from the situation or relationship that violates your values. there is nothing wrong with walking away. it doesnt mean that you are giving up, it just means that you realize youve come to an impasse.... something that either will never be resolved or wont be resolved any time soon.... and you choose to remove yourself because you value yourself and the things and people that are accessible and congruent with your values and you choose to focus on those things/people. resist the temptation to re-engage in defeating behaviors and relationships. take the time to find out how youve contributed to the unhealthy relationship/habit and work on yourself. learning from your mistakes, unhealthy habits, and triggering stimuli will help you notice and avoid those things in the future. ive learned that no amount of effort spent trying to communicate how important someone is to you doesnt make you important to them. they may "say" they love you, care about you etc but if their actions and words arent congruent then my best guess is they dont love you... what they may mean is that they love the things you do for them, the attention you give them or they love how keeping you at a distance satisfies their need to control. at any rate, the sooner you see these relationships for what they really are the better off you will be. dont fall into the guilt trap... continue to remind yourself that removing toxic people and things from your life is healthy and important for you to grow.
finding a healthy way to express the things that violate your value system is important.
consider whether the situation, person, etc is worth your time. is anything going to change by your expression or will you only serve to further upset yourself because you are not being heard. resolution in some aspect is important. realize that the resolution may be that you have to remove yourself from the situation or relationship that violates your values. there is nothing wrong with walking away. it doesnt mean that you are giving up, it just means that you realize youve come to an impasse.... something that either will never be resolved or wont be resolved any time soon.... and you choose to remove yourself because you value yourself and the things and people that are accessible and congruent with your values and you choose to focus on those things/people. resist the temptation to re-engage in defeating behaviors and relationships. take the time to find out how youve contributed to the unhealthy relationship/habit and work on yourself. learning from your mistakes, unhealthy habits, and triggering stimuli will help you notice and avoid those things in the future. ive learned that no amount of effort spent trying to communicate how important someone is to you doesnt make you important to them. they may "say" they love you, care about you etc but if their actions and words arent congruent then my best guess is they dont love you... what they may mean is that they love the things you do for them, the attention you give them or they love how keeping you at a distance satisfies their need to control. at any rate, the sooner you see these relationships for what they really are the better off you will be. dont fall into the guilt trap... continue to remind yourself that removing toxic people and things from your life is healthy and important for you to grow.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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